Is it enough to just type ‘Autism’ when told by the Arts Council email that the ‘participant’ (me) has to state what their need is when applying for money to pay someone to help me apply for an Arts Council ‘Developing Your Creative Practice‘ grant for round 11. Then it wants me to identify what support is needed to enable me to apply for funds so I can apply for funds. I have to find words to define what my needs are, and here I meet the hurdle, the wall, the barrier where my default method of managing is to not face it, like I don’t open envelopes for the same reason.
Here is the problem… In an ableist world I’m only used to identifying what I DON’T need as I learn about myself, newly (and late in life) diagnosed with Autism and not what I DO need.
Needs – Basic ones to survive are the usual needs, as identified in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. (Maslow, 2013)
Reference: Maslow, A. H. (2013) A theory of human motivation. Floyd, Va.: Wilder Publ.
So, I research what a ‘need’ is to help me submit something for the funding to access funding.
Belonging is a sense that has eluded me as I do not feel I belong often as it relies on connections to be made and then maintained alongside social anxiety and stimuli that can become overwhelming. I need help to navigate the linear world as a non-linear individual which form filing is one such structure.
I will need support to define and compartmentalise to put into words how I work and what could enable me to develop my practice. Spider diagrams enable a non-hierarchical way of exploring something and it is no coincidence that it represents a neuron with synapses of energy. Linear working has no such energy in my opinion but it is the ‘normal’ , established way of doing things….. Ableism at work, of course.
Exploration of Life as a Neurodiverse Creative 